Guess What?! (Yeah, it's what you think!)

Yes...

It's

what

you

think...

I'm pregnant. 

I'm 41 years old (42 in 2 weeks- Ahhhhh!!)
I'm 16 weeks pregnant.
It's a BOY.
He is due on the same day as my daughter's birthday in May. Funny, right? You might think so. I think, "What an expensive month - 2 kid's birthdays, our anniversary & mother's day!!"

He won't be born on Julianna's birthday because I am having a C-section. I had an unplanned C-section the first time, so we decided to go that route this time, but planned. Realistically, they will be about a week apart.

No, we haven't even thought about names. We have plenty of time for that- and I won't be discussing it or taking a poll here - or asking my Facebook friends for suggestions. That's not my thing. It's a private choice that my husband and I will be making on our own before May some time.

Due to my age, my ultrascreen diagnostic test came back with low numbers for trisomy 18 & 13, so we opted to get the Amnio-CVS test at 13 weeks. I know most moms decide not to have the test, however, my husband and I need to know everything, we don't like surprises. Just for the record, the CVS sucked bad. It hurt. I won't sugar coat it. A probe being stuck up your cervix to clip out a piece of your placenta just damned hurts. It had to be done this way due to where the placenta was. THe good news is - all tests came back fine. And we found out it's a boy. I was secretly hoping for a girl, because we have so many girly things and pretty girly clothes :) - but hey, now we will have one of each.

I felt like death for 6 weeks, which is why I didn't blog or do much else for a long time.
The severe nausea started around 5 weeks or so. I had a great pregnancy with Julianna, and I truly did not see this coming. It hit me fast & hard. I was unable to function, eat, drink or sleep. I had to sit up in our recliner chair at night wrapped in a blanket praying to feel better. No relief came. For a long time. Days.... weeks....

I am very lucky I work from home or I would have had to go out on disability. I could barely function much less take care of a toddler. Thank goodness my husband is amazing and took care of Julianna every night - he made dinner, bathed her, put her to bed, read her a story, took her food shopping, etc.
I went on medication almost right away called Zofran, which took the edge off, but had it's own fun side effects including severe constipation which actually put me in the hospital due to the pain and my bladder shutting down. Fun stuff huh? Oh and the bloating - oh my god the bloating. I had to eat (when I could actually eat) maybe 3 mouthfuls of food. I ate like a pregnant sparrow. If I ate more than a few bites, I instantly felt super bloated like I was going to explode. As a result, I lost about 9 pounds total. I never once threw up, but that is my will, I don't get sick. I am not a puker. But man o man, I felt like I was going to throw up 24 hours a day. I couldn't move, lay down, eat, drink, function. Forget going out of the house. It sucked - I won't lie- I was the most miserable human being on the planet. It was a dark time - and I was mentally & emotionally overcome. And as far as the few people we did tell, I was not all happy-happy-joy-joy with me telling them.

I finally started to finally feel better around 13-14 weeks. But I had a relapse on Thanksgiving day. It was the ONE day I was looking forward to - I wanted to sit down with my family and pig out on Thanksgiving turkey. Nope. Instead, I got to sit there and watch everyone stuff their faces.

I am now 16 weeks and starting to think I finally rounded the corner. I can, for the most part, eat normally and feel human. I don't have very many food aversions and there's not much I can't eat now. I am still on alert thinking I could have a bad day - so I'm not fooling myself into thinking I'm 100% out of the woods.

I finally picked up my camera for the first time in weeks to take some Christmas photos - and it felt good. I blogged when I could, but now I'm ready to be back, and I need to start reading my bloggy friend's updates too! I feel so out of the loop!

I am just now starting to embrace being pregnant. Yes, it's what we wanted, but with the way I felt, I was not very happy about it as you can imagine. I am not one of those moms that dreams of holding their baby when it's born, so for me, this is just the way it is. I remember going to the birthing classes when I was pregnant with Julianna, and leaving there crying because all the other moms were saying how they couldn't wait to hold their newborn. I remember thinking there was something wrong with me. Well... I had Julianna and loved her right away, so I know there was NO issue there. It's just me. Maybe I'm weird, who knows. As of now, I am happy with the way I feel, I am happy with the fact the baby is healthy and things are going well. We have a lot of planning and things to do before May comes around.... and when he is born in May, I'll be happy he's here.
Do I have fears? Of course I do. Who wouldn't?

p.s. We have been telling Julianna what's going on but all she got out of it so far was that Mommy has a boo-boo (from all those nights/days wrapped up on the sofa moaning) and when we ask her if she wants a little brother, she says "No Mama!" - but she doesn't quite get it yet. She will by May. 

And of course, how can I drop this news on you without the obligatory pregnancy self-portrait that is super-blurry and if you look hard, you can see the jack russell's head on my un-made messy bed.