Brian and I are going out without Julianna. He is taking me to a butterfly exhibit and then a bite to eat. I'm looking forward to it & I'm going to enforce one rule - that rule is that we don't talk about baby stuff at all. Not once. This needs to be for us & about us.
Julianna is 8 & 1/2 weeks old... and this will be our first real date night. We went to a friend's wedding a couple weeks ago and had a nice time, but it's not the same as spending time with each other alone.
I hope this is the first of many to come. Before we got pregnant, one of the most important things we talked about was making sure our marriage doesn't get neglected because of the baby. I have seen it so often over the years with people I know, acquaintances, on tv, & work associates, etc.
That scared me a lot and I won't lie, it's one of the main reasons I did not want to have kids at all. Not to sound greedy or self-centered, but I didn't want to lose my husband and lose how special our relationship is, because of having a baby. That is something that was as important to him too. So we both are making a conscience effort to focus on us as well as the baby. Date night is something that has to happen no matter what. We always will need to make time for us.
A happy marriage is the root of a happy family. If Mommy & Daddy are happy, that trickles down to the baby... the baby is then happy. It's pretty simple. If a child sees mom & dad stressing out or fighting... then that creates stress on the baby. Even very young babies are aware if there is stress in the household - not like they'll know you are fighting over who will do the food shopping - but they will know there is tension and the harmony isn't good.
I also feel that an 'absent' dad (defined as; a father that is around but doesn't do shit; such as doesn't change diapers at all, doesn't help with feedings, doesn't help with the household, and doesn't spend time with his wife and child, and feels that working and 'making money' is plenty enough contribution) is picked up on by the baby at a very young age as well... and can create issues, resulting in feeding problems, sleeping issues, crankiness, etc... These are all important things (for us) that we decided early on we would never let become issues. This is just MY opinion of course - keep that in mind.
Well that was too easy to go off on a tangent - Back to Date night - I am looking forward to tonight and spending some quality time with my husband, and not having to worry about if the baby needs to eat, or if she is crying, etc...
I do sometimes miss when it was just me and Brian. I am not afraid to admit that. I am also not afraid to admit it is important to focus on us and not let 'raising the baby' consume our lives to the point where we lose the 'us' in our relationship. I beleive it is possible to do both successfully.
Thursday 7/23/10 - Update
We went on our date night last night and had a fun time! We got a bite to eat at Franks Pizza after we dropped Julianna at Michelle & Matt's house. (p.s. they loved watching her!)
The butterfly exhibit was great - the guy who did the presentation was a butterfly expert and supplies butterflies to movie sets, tv, weddings, funerals, etc.... His name is Rick Mikula
It was interesting and funny too. It was nice to get out and not have to worry "Oh it's 8pm, time to feed Jule!" -
I will admit, I was a little anxious thinking about julianna for the first hour maybe, but then I got over it and enjoyed myself. That's exactly what we need to do!
Looks like you had a great time. More power to you two. You are wonderful parents. But occasionally, even wonderful parents need a break. You both are smart enough to realize it
ReplyDeleteand not feel guilty. It's a good thing.
Oh, and the new design looks great. I was startled at first since it is so radically different from the first design. But I like it. Very cheerful.
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